Our brains are programmed by our thoughts and words. Our subconscious mind is a powerful tool and works much like a computer program, it follows the language of the programmer. “A programming language is a vocabulary and set of grammatical rules for instructing a computer or computing device to perform specific tasks.”* Programming Language Definition | Webopedia
If someone’s focus was on a negative self-image, affirmations would sound “unbelievable” to them. They would not find affirmations productive. Overcoming that “program” might require a therapist or a coach.
Ronald Alexander, Ph.D., author of “The Wise Open Mind” says this about affirmations;
“Affirmations (meaning statements said with confidence about a perceived truth) have helped thousands of people make significant changes in their lives. But they don’t always work for everyone. How can one person have great success using this tool, while another sees no results at all?”
He goes on to say “An affirmation can work because it has the ability to program your mind into believing the stated concept. This is because the mind doesn’t know the difference between what is real or what is fantasy. When you watch a movie, and you start to laugh or cry, your mind is empathizing with the characters on the screen even though it is only Hollywood magic. There are both positive and negative types of affirmations. I’m sure many of us can remember being told as a child by a teacher, parent, or coach that we didn’t have the ability to do something (we were fat, clumsy, etc.). These unwholesome statements can stay with us in the conscious or unconscious mind, which we then reinforce throughout our lives. If an unwholesome belief is deeply rooted in our unconscious mind, then it has the ability to override a positive affirmation, even if we aren’t aware of it. This is why, for many people, affirmations don’t seem to work: Their afflicted thought patterns are so strong that they knock out the effect of the positive statement. So how can we add more muscle to an affirmation, so that it has the power to triumph over our negative thinking?”
Here are some suggestions on how to make them work for you from Dr. Alexander;
5 Steps to Make Affirmations More Effective and Powerful
Step 1: Make a list of what you’ve always thought of as your negative qualities. Include any criticisms others have made of you that you’ve been holding onto—whether it’s something your siblings, parents, or peers used to say about you when you were a child, or what your boss told you in your last annual review. Don’t judge if they’re accurate, and remember we all have flaws. This is one of the beauties of being human. Simply make a note of them and look for a common theme, such as “I’m unworthy.” This will be a great place to start making a shift in your life. When you write out the recurring belief, notice if you are holding on to it anywhere in your body? For example, do you feel tightness or dread in your heart or stomach? Ask yourself if this unwholesome concept is helpful or productive in your life—if not, what would be?
Step 2: Now write an affirmation on the positive aspect of your self-judgment. You may want to use a thesaurus to find more powerful words to beef up your statement. For example, instead of saying, “I’m worthy,” you could say, “I’m remarkable and cherished.” After you have written your affirmation, ask a close friend to read it to see if they have any suggestions for how to make it stronger.
Step 3: Speak the affirmation out loud for about five minutes three times a day, morning, midday, and evening. An ideal time to do this is when you’re putting on your makeup or shaving so that you can look at yourself in the mirror as you repeat the positive statement. Another option that helps to reinforce the new belief and would be easy to do at work is to write out the affirmation several times in a notebook. Notice over time as you write it if your style of writing changes. This could be a clue as to how your mind perceives the new concept. I call this exercise using the mindfulness journal to forward the agenda of the positive affirmation.
Step 4: Anchor the affirmation in your body as you are repeating it by placing your hand on the area that felt uncomfortable when you wrote out the negative belief in Step 1. Also, “breathe” into the affirmation while you are saying or writing it. As you reprogram your mind, you want to move from the concept of the affirmation to a real, positive embodiment of the quality you seek.
Step 5: Get a friend or coach to repeat your affirmation to you. As they are saying, for example, “You are remarkable and cherished,” identify this statement as “good mothering” or “good fathering” messages. If you don’t have someone whom you feel comfortable asking, then use your reflection in the mirror as the person who is reinforcing the healthy message.
I like his ideas and suggestions because he helps deal with someone feeling the negative resistance to an affirmation.
Google the “I Am” power of affirmations. Study the different resources about affirmations. The “I AM” power dates back to the time of Moses for those who prefer the God aspect. As I say about anything, “it’s best if you prove it to yourself, that way you own it.”
For some, it might be best to write a few out and or record a few if listening is your preferred method. You could have your coach or a good friend repeat them to you as Dr. Alexander suggests in Step 5.
Whatever path you choose, even if you find affirmations are not for you, I wish you the best journey possible. Your journey is your business and no one else’s. Be in the moment and remember we do live in a miracle called a Universe.
Gratefully yours,
Steve
