- We all have changed physical habits, like laziness, smoking, or overeating by committing to new behaviors. Diets, joining a gym, and or a quit program of some kind. There are mental habits that are unrecognizable for many people and even for those who are self-aware, few make the change to self-management. Melanie Greenburg, Ph.D., a Psychologist, calls them “automatic mental and emotional habits, such as 1 Feeling Guilty. 2 Thinking You’re a failure. 3 Being a Perfectionist. 4 Living with Regret. 5 Comparing Yourself Negatively With Others. 6 People Pleasing. I add things like reacting (I call it -re-acting something preprogrammed from our past) to certain people, or situations and often it’s because we are not self-aware. It could be one of these as well;
- Dwelling on possible future disasters or past hurts
- Taking things too personally
- Criticizing yourself
- Working yourself up to anger about a little thing
- Excessive worrying
These can all become automatic responses to automatic thoughts and thus a mental habit.
How can we overcome mental habits?
Meg Selig, Author of Changepower! 37 Secrets to Habit Change Success, suggests the following; “You can decide to ease this mental suffering and find more peace of mind.”
While it’s human and normal to have negative thoughts, ask yourself “who is the thinker of the thought? Self-awareness is the first step to changing the habit. Start by noticing to whom you react and to what situations? Develop a level of thinking above your thinking. What are some of your “default patterns?” “Who and what run you?” Once you identify some of the patterns, you can begin the second step of self-management.
Self-mangement is deciding to not to react and to be proactive. To make a new choice. Develop a new response, you run the program instead of it running you.
Some people are successful at turning the new thought patterns into new habits. Mindfulness, present moment awareness and embracing what shows up can be the new habit. For others I suggest a coach, it’s one of my areas of focus with my clients. I have many testimonials on my LinkedIn page… https://www.linkedin.com/in/steve-lentini-04581/ and this blog is not to sell anything, just to help.
Start the work!
I am grateful.
Steve
